This is so fun! What is this place?
Well, this whole area used to be owned by the military.
Best camping spot I ever did see.
Awesome.
What's that?
I hear ladies like champagne.
Oh, you know champagne gives me the hiccups.
Are you trying to seduce me, Mr. Turner?
I just want to celebrate this moment.
You are definitely the woman for me.
I respect your decision.
I can wait.
You're worth it.
You okay?
Yeah, just some cramps.
Why...
Come here, come here.
Hey, hey.
Let's get you home to a doctor, okay?
What do you think happened?
I don't know, baby.
Uh, I got it.
I'm gonna go help him.
I don't like this, Steve.
I'll be fine.
Be careful.
What happened?
- Steve, come on, let's go! - What?
Steve, hurry! Let's go!
God, I lost the keys!
Shit. Baby, come on!
Hurry!
Shoot.
Help me, Steve!
You mother, you...
God, Steve! Please!
Come on, get in. Get in!
Give me the keys.
Quick! Roll up the window, Steve!
Roll up!
Stop looking through the map! Just get out of here!
I'm trying!
No!
Follow me.
What is this place?
Hey.
You volunteered, Simon!
Hey, don't I know you?
It's possible. Who are you?
Steve. Steve Turner.
Yeah, well, I don't know you.
But you look really familiar.
Well, I've done some acting.
Jake! Watch out!
Just ignore him. Hi, I'm Lin.
Hi, I'm Steve.
This is my girlfriend Midami.
Uh, Mimi. My parents were hippies.
What the hell is going on?
Survival.
That's Slasher and D.J.
Yeah.
And Trent.
He's a very strange man.
Come.
Come on.
Come on, you dead piece of shit.
All the way in.
She needs to lie down.
Okay, okay. Calm down.
Slasher, D.J., take her inside.
I'll finish up here. Go.
Got her.
What's happening out there?
One minute we're selling cars,
maybe perhaps celebrating in the strip joint.
He's married.
Then the whole place collapses.
What about the rest of the city?
It's not good, man.
People were screaming. Fires. Jesus.
And then the next thing you know,
fucking people start fucking eating each other.
Simon saved us, too.
Yeah, Simon. Yeah.
Um, this is D.J. I'm Slasher.
Slasher?
Yeah, put your hands in the air if you want a bargain.
You want a great deal, get those prices slashed.
You know, slash 'em, slash 'em.
We sell cars. Slasher sells round the country.
What is this place?
I think it's a decommissioned NORAD microwave station.
But I could be wrong.
I'm gonna pull his fucking head off.
Over my dead body.
What is with you, you freak, fucking bitch?
You have no idea. That is Trent's brother down there.
That is a thing.
One nearly killed me 30 seconds ago.
There is no place for them here.
What are you doing?
Have you ever had a child? A sibling, even?
You love them unconditionally.
Look, I have made over 2,000 films.
I have fucked over 8,000 guys...
2,013 of them up the ass...
- Mom! - Sorry, dear.
Look, my world is no place for Jane.
I didn't even think I could have kids.
Then I got pregnant.
Okay, so I fucked 70 guys that week.
But did I abort? Did I give her up for adoption? No.
Because I love her. She is my blood.
That is why I can't let you kill Herbert.
Hey!
They ripped my daughter apart right in front of me.
She was 3 years old.
They were my neighbors.
He sat on my front lawn
and chewed on her arm like it was a chicken wing.
I killed him first.
Are you threatening me, Simon?
Let's just all love the zombies.
I mean, we can't kill Herbert.
We got no food, and we got two more mouths to feed.
Are you people fucking crazy?
I think you should sit down now.
I'm gonna take a shit.
You know, I fucked nicer animals than you.
You didn't hear that, sweetheart.
I'm not a child, Mother.
You are a child. You're my child.
These are my towels.
You stay away from them, clear?
Can't we all just get along?
That's funny.
That's real funny.
Trent, we just saved your brother's life.
For the day of the Lord shall come like a thief in the night,
in which the heavens shall pass away with the great noise,
and the elements shall melt with a fervent heat,
and the earth and the works there within shall melt away.
2nd Peter, Chapter 3, verse 10.
It's God's way.
What is?
I don't like his attitude.
Trent, your attitude sucks.
Prick.
D.J., get her on the table.
Please.
Easy.
This is Jane, Kylie, and I think you know Simon.
Easy.
I need a fucking drink.
I need a fuckin' cigarette.
I need to get the fuck out of here.
You're making me nervous.
Just go patrol the compound.
Yes, ma'am.
Thank you.
You coming?
Like I got something better to do.
Military training. Comes in handy.
How's she doing?
She's fine. She just needs some rest.
Do you have any water?
Yeah, sure.
What happened to your arm?
I got bit by one of those things.
What?
It's fine.
Let me see.
Wait right here. I'll be right back.
Hey.
Thanks for back there.
How'd you find this place?
I used to come here as a kid.
Took my older brother.
We'd go camping and playing war games,
killing and eluding the enemy.
And here we are.
Funny how things turned out.
So, you think that's funny?
20 years in the service.
After my last horse, I decided I'd had enough.
Anyway, what happens if she sees me doing that?
You know, she's still a virgin, you know.
I've kept a close watch on her.
Just waiting for the right man, eh, babe?
I was gonna do the business stuff, you know?
Producing, that kind of thing.
I was at my own retirement party.
I was gonna buy me a boat.
And now here we are.
Now, that's funny.
So, Steve,
anything funny happen to you?
We were just camping.
Let's fix you up as if you have a plan somewhere inside that head.
That's all you got?
Hey, that's our food.
No, that would be my breakfast.
What are you doing?
Nothing.
One of those things bit you.
Look, l... Oh, shit!
We need him!
He's infected.
How do you know?
I'm not taking any chances with my life.
He's out.
Let's keep him here. We'll tie him up, observe him.
What... what's his name?
Fuck him.
Exactly. You know nothing about him.
He might even be able to help.
He could even be a scientist for all you know!
Look, let's just keep him here overnight.
I'll take care of him.
He'd better be a scientist.
He stays downstairs with Thing.
Herbert.
It's a thing.
- His name is Herbert. - Thing!
I'm not leaving Mimi.
Jesus!
We have 17 shells left,
and you use one on the ceiling?
Great work, Rambo.
I'm not afraid to use this, especially on the infected.
Look, I feel fine.
In the basement.
Please.
Don't make me shoot you, bitch.
She'll be fine.
Go.
Meet Thing, your roommate for the night.
He will eat me.
Yeah, well, maybe you'll eat him.
Hey, sweet dreams!
Why don't you just unlatch your collar?
You can't understand me.
There's some food right there.
Look.
What the...
No way.
Stand up!
You know what?
I was gonna give you these for breakfast.
Look, let me out of here!
Look, I have had medical training.
My girlfriend is sick, and she needs my help.
Look, I need to be with her.
She needs treatment.
Up there, she's your responsibility.
Do you want an innocent girl's blood on your hands?
Please. Let me out.
Not afraid to use the gun.
By the way, Lin says your girl's pregnant.
Go.
You're pregnant?
I don't know. Feel.
I felt.
Feel now.
It's already kicking.
I'm not pregnant, okay? I can't be.
I didn't do anything. I swear.
I don't understand.
I do. You don't want to do this right now.
You want to wait until we're engaged,
and then you go fuck somebody else.
I would never do that to you. Okay?
I love you too much.
You despicable liar.
We haven't even had sex!
I'm still a virgin!
Read the signs, people.
The comet?
Lift up your eyes to the heavens
and look upon the earth beneath,
for the heavens shall vanish like smoke
and the earth shall wax, old like a garment.
And they that dwell therein,
shall die in like manner.
Isaiah, chapter 51, verse 6.
Them, out there, the dead shall rise
and those souls shall rise and unite with their bodies.
Virgin birth in front of you.
The Antichrist is among us!
What a load of horseshit.
This is no virgin birth.
You're at least three months gone.
I was in Texas three months ago.
No!
Get away from me.
I don't even know you anymore.
Got her. Go.
Shh, sweetheart.
We really need you in there, soldier.
Okay, fine. But you need to eat.
All right, that's it.
That's all we got till breakfast tomorrow.
Eat.
You're a doctor?
I'm not really a doctor.
I come from a long line of doctors,
but I was the end of that line.
I know the basics.
What's going on, Dr. Steve?
I'm not a doctor.
Okay, Nurse Steve,
I didn't get you up here for the party.
I think if we can figure out what drives these zombies,
then we can figure out a way to get rid of 'em for good.
No, shit.
Have you figured it out yet?
Look, I think if we just talked
about the events that happened that night,
we could find some clues, some connections.
Why don't we start with you, Chad?
Fuck you.
This might even benefit you.
Ever think about that?
All right, I live on a ranch about 200 miles north of here,
and I was in the city...
I've been in the Adult Entertainment business for... 20 years.
That's in case anybody here didn't already know that.
I was home alone.
My usual Friday evening routine.
Fish dinner and a bottle of wine...
Anyway, he like the idea, and he...
he wanted to go to dinner, and, you know,
even though that was... that was a couple hours drive back.
I went, you know, and then...
after the fourth martini...
Something happened.
I like to call it The Dick That Broke the Porn Star's Back.
I'd seen the news about about the breakaway peace,
and I listened to the president telling us not to worry.
I blacked out. I mean, We knew the...
the comet was there for, like, four days.
Big deal.
Telling us not to worry.
Then the sound just grew louder.
Just... boom.
And there's this guy.
I mean, he's running down the street.
He's running down the street screaming,
and these things...
these things take him down right in front of me,
and they just eat him.
And then l... I started driving,
and there was a truck in the road, and it was blocking,
and these things were all around me.
And then I saw this place.
Is it Trent?
I don't have anything to say.
This is how it's supposed to be.
We can't do anything now to save ourselves or mankind.
Please. It might help us.
I work for my father in his church.
Recruitment,
running the local AA meetings,
that kind of thing.
Are you scared?
No.
Well, if this is God's way,
then why did you come here?
Why did you bring your brother?
Look, if we know what's happening to these people,
maybe we can save them, save Herbert.
This is God's way!
That's it?
I didn't bring you up here to spout the same bullshit
that we've all been talking about for the last couple of days.
I want to show you something.
That's nasty.
I know what that is.
This fell out of Herbert's pant leg.
It's his.
What, did he do it to himself?
I really don't think so.
I think this is part of the transformation
that these things are going through.
All right, I've had enough of this medical mumbo jumbo.
We need to eat.
So unless you all plan on harvesting zombie oysters,
this is the plan.
Okay, my ranch is a couple hours north of here.
Got lots of food and very high fences.
What, to keep someone out?
No, as a matter of fact, to keep something in.
You see, l...
I kept a lion from one of my movies.
It died, but the fences are still there.
Any rate, I have vegetables, tomatoes,
everything we need.
I just need you two and you.
What?
Now, why would I want to do that?
Well, you for reproduction.
And you for defense, labor, male companionship.
You want me to be your slave?
No.
Ranch hand.
And we'd be your fuck whores.
Well, kinda, but I'd feed you and shit.
Feed this.
I don't even need any of you losers slowing me down.
I'm out of here.
I think we should go and examine Herbert.
Who's in?
You're not touching my brother.
D.J., now.
Lights out, preacher.
Let's go.
What do you think you're doing?
We're going to examine Herbert.
No, you're not.
If I have to spend one more night here,
you and your gaping wound
spend the night downstairs with Thing.
He's totally fine.
Zip it, buff bitch.
I think he's right.
I'm right, now move.
Move!
No.
Stop it!
You've left already,
so what's this got to do with you?
Now fuck off and let us do our thing!
You, too, Bible Boy!
All right.
I'm gonna spend the night over there.
In the morning, I'm gone.
If he or Thing comes anywhere near me,
I blow 'em away. We clear?
Clear.
No, you lasso. I'll tie him up.
Thanks.
Go! Go!
Now tie him!
Let him go!
Down! Lay down!
- Hold him. - Go.
Okay, pants down.
- Steve! - Get in there, son!
- Oh! - That's gotta hurt.
What is that?
Here. Try this.
Hold him.
Ah, it's some sort of sack or nodule.
Out of my way!
Oh, my God.
So if you're one of these things, your testicles fall off?
Yeah, and penis.
When you I.D. Human flesh,
it's not a virus or bacteria as it's not spread through saliva.
How do you know that for sure?
My uncle, he... he's a raging alcoholic.
He drank so much,
one of his toes dropped off.
Bad circulation.
I mean, maybe as the body shuts down,
the genitals are the first thing to go
as these things rot to death.
Maybe.
Maybe his penis fell off because he wasn't given
a fair chance to plead his case.
Hold him.
I love you.
Please listen to me.
All I have is your word.
I can see and feel the evidence for myself.
I don't know what's going on...
but it really hurts.
Please.
Don't talk to me.
I trusted you...
with all my heart.
Steve, please. I need your help.
I can't help you.
Can you do us all a favor and hack him to pieces?
He's the one with the gun.
Are you okay, sweetie?
Is this your...
David's my partner.
Married eight years.
Tara's our 3-year-old.
She is divine.
So you're a faggot.
Faggots aren't welcome around here.
He's more welcome than you are, fuck face.
She's her mother's daughter.
Sodomites are wicked and sinners
before the Lord exceedingly.
Genesis, chapter 13, verse 13.
I make no apologies. It's all there in the book.
Faggots will proliferate at the end of the world,
bringing final justice to mankind.
Luke, chapter 17, verses 28-30.
Sound familiar?
I just lost my daughter and my partner.
Oh, they're paying for your sins.
You're all right with me.
For his blood be on us...
and our children.
It's all right.
I'd have done the same thing myself.
Yeah, he just kept pushing.
I'd have cut his fucking arm off if I was gay.
Which I'm not.
I mean, I have a kid.
Listen, man,
I have a place in Florida for you and my family, okay?
I'm serious.
Look, I'm gonna take off tomorrow.
Go back.
Take my chances.
I know they're alive.
Thanks.
That means a lot to me.
Burn for burn,
wound for wound,
strife for strife.
Exodus!
Are you cold, honey?
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Slasher, will you be a doll and close the door while you're up?
Yeah, sure.
Now, me, personally, I like the breeze.
Makes me feel like I'm still alive.
But, you know, if the lady is going to...
Shit.
Shoot him!
Do something!
Shoot him now!
I can't!
D.J., do something!
Get the door!
Who the hell...
It's all right, homie!
D.J., hurry!
Move!
Hey, hey. Take it easy. Take it easy.
It's all right. Breathe.
Oh, my...
- Okay. - Take it easy.
Oh, sweetheart.
I got this.
What the fuck are you playing at?
What? Gonna shoot me?
Don't you know it's rude to point a gun at a woman?
Now what?
- We secure the gate. - I'm not going out there.
The all-American action hero refuses to dance!
It's dark!
He's a friggin' pussy.
Give me the gun.
Don't be an ass.
I don't think you have it in you.
Do you?
Simon, stop it!
Damn it!
Enough!
Chad, we need the gun.
No, Steve, we need to save the shells.
For what? An emergency?
No, you use the machete.
We'll let 'em in here one by one and... and do it that way.
Let the enemy into our camp?
That's the stupidest fucking idea I've ever heard.
We need to go out there and secure the perimeter
or we die in here!
Look, give us the gun.
Simon will lead us out, and then we'll follow him.
Give me the gun!
Okay. I'll do it.
But... But not at night, okay?
L... I can't see at night.
We are gonna be swamped by the morning!
Chad's right.
We'll have a greater chance in the morning.
Exactly.
You see, that's what I've been trying to tell you people.
Anybody got a clean shirt I can borrow?
I do.
Did I miss anything?
Hi.
I hurt.
Show me.
Down there.
And here.
And my neck.
It's just the pregnancy pains.
Just like a ninja, huh?
I can't do...
Move! Then move!
We're ready, let's go!
Steve, cover the sides and the back.
Open the door.
Do it!
Move it.
Pump it.
Let's do this.
Oh, shit!
Reload!
All right. All right. I'm ready.
Bravo.
Delaying the inevitable by another day.
Hey.
He's not worth it.
Slash! Slash!
Save me a seat at the club, buddy.
I'll be there soon.
What...
Forgot one.
- Ready? - Yeah.
Go.
Wait... okay.
Damn it.
Oh, my God.
What?
Look.
Watch the corners.
Yeah.
Not too far, and down.
Nurse Steve?
I don't know...
What, do you think I do?
Oh, Mary Mother of God.
Cut it out of there. Let's take a look.
That's disgusting.
What is it?
It looks, uh, human.
It has three arms.
Hey, cut one of the arms off, see if it feels pain.
That's gross.
What, are you kidding me?
Lt'll help us figure out if we can kill the thing.
The arm is still moving.
The body didn't seem to react too much.
Let's see here.
Whoa, it's healing itself.
It's growing a new body.
I can already see the shape of the fetus developing.
I think you need to do a full autopsy on that body.
See what else is going on in there.
Right?
Yeah.
Careful.
Now, what's that long vein?
It's attached to all the major organs.
It's headed up towards the neck.
Let's turn him over.
Look, it goes up into his head.
Cut his head open.
Give it a poke.
Where's the rest of it?
Check under the table. Over there.
It's not over here.
Or here.
Just what we need.
Maybe it's in the basement. I mean, the door's open.
Any volunteers?
I'll go.
Me, too.
Go to the basement?
Right.
You kick some ass.
Always.
Shit!
Geez!
Please help!
Shit!
That thing has got Simon! He's got him!
It's bigger now.
He's got him, and I couldn't do anything.
I couldn't...
So help me, if you say this is God's way right now,
I will kill you right now!
- I'll go. - No.
I'll go.
It's over for us anyway.
Stay still.
I was hoping you would go the way that God meant.
I'll let those creatures in for you.
Faggots are worthy of death
for their vile, depraved, unnatural sex practices.
Leviticus, Chapter 20, verse 13!
The creature. It killed Simon.
My God, you're too late.
Damn it.
We have no more food or water.
My girlfriend is pregnant with another man's baby.
We got three shotgun shells left
and a world full of dead humans
being controlled by creatures in their head,
which is all somehow connected to a comet crash.
Could it get any worse?
You could be castrated, too.
All right, this is what we have.
Looks like these creatures are some sort of parasite,
taking root in and sucking the life out of its host.
It then castrates the male
and replaces its reproductive organs with its own embryo.
Sounds like fun.
But why?
They're adapting.
They're, uh...
trying to fuse their DNA with ours
in order to come up with a hybrid creature
that can survive in the earth's atmosphere.
It's able to reproduce asexually.
So every man-zombie is probably only days away from hatching.
Man can't fuck. They'll take over the world.
What about us?
Man.
Wait a minute.
Mimi, come outside.
Walk up to the fence.
What for?
Just do it.
Walk around.
How are the pains?
Worse.
Come here.
She's one of them, isn't she?
Chad.
Damn it!
Get up.
She's one of them. She needs to die.
You don't know what you're doing.
Chad, put it down!
Shoot him! Shoot the fucker!
Get up!
Go. We don't need you here.
You're making a huge mistake, my friend.
Yeah? We'll help him out. D.J.?
You did the right thing.
I'll be right back.
Is that you?
Yeah.
Hey.
I'm so sorry.
I should've never doubted you.
Where am I?
You're in the basement.
Of the bunker?
Yeah.
I think I blacked out when he pointed the gun at me.
I'm so hungry.
Have I really got one of those things inside me?
I'm a mom.
Fucking zombies.
Hey, Trent.
Let's make love. Now.
This maybe your last chance... ever.
Come here.
That's it.
Please, God, please.
You fucking whore.
What did you do to me?
Oh, geez.
No! My baby!
Why? Why?
My baby! No!
No!
Got it. You ready?
I'll be right back.
What?
I think I have it.
It's all starts with the comet.
These creatures, parasites, were frozen into the ice of the comet.
Possibly single-celled organisms
waiting to randomly crash into a planet
somewhere in the universe to continue its life cycle.
Freed on impact, it then distributes itself all over the world in the fallout.
Every living organism then breathes in this, like, parasite-laden dust.
It's like a simple tapeworm.
These parasites just do what they know best:
Survive and thrive,
just on a bigger scale.
What a waste.
Those things are gonna hatch soon.
We need to be in a secure place! A stronghold.
Like an impenetrable bunker on top of a hill, maybe?
Maybe, but we need to eat.
If we stay here, we need to set up a system for survival.
Chad's self-sufficient ranch sure sounds like a good option now.
We need supplies fast.
I'll go. But I can't do it alone.
You know I got your back, girl.
Me, too.
Count me in.
No. You stay here and take care of your girl.
And we need someone to man the gate.
Kylie, can I tell you something?
Sure, honey.
I really respect you.
Thanks.
- Let's do it. - Yeah.
Come on.
Come on. Let's move.
- Shit. - Keep going!
- The gate! - Come on!
Oh, my God!
Mimi, bring the gun!
No! Wait, Kylie!
Get out of here! Go!
What's that?
Sounds like a shotgun.
It's Lin.
Stay here.
Oh, God.
What do you want?
A second chance.
Excuse me?
Look, Steve,
there's nothing out there but a bunch of zombies.
You saved my life. I got to respect that.
And like it or not, you and I are in this thing together.
What don't I trust you?
All right.
From now on, we all got guns.
Let me in.
Open your jacket, turn around.
Don't make me regret this.
Oh, chocolate.
I got tons... I have tons of canned goods.
I have seeds, I have music, I have generators,
I have soft drinks, I have books, games, liquor.
I even have... this.
Come on, Steve, my ranch.
I...
I need the company.
All right, I need the labor. It's a big place.
Mimi and I are the only ones left.
Damn it.
Okay, want to start a commune?
Either you're ready to slap a dwarf, or you're ready to be friends.
That's one of my lines from...
Quadruple Jeopardy.
I may know some of your work, perhaps.
No kidding.
How is she?
Well, Lin wants to operate if she makes it back.
Let's hope.
What if she doesn't?
Oh, you could've at least gotten the good stuff.
Oh, I had to raid all the country stores due to the flooding in the city.
It was either that or the local hooch.
In fact, I got most of that, too.
Plus everything we need to brew our own.
Yeah!
- Yes. - Yes.
Hooch!
Hey, Steve.
I even got a bag of panties. What do you think?
No?
No! No!
Make it stop!
Please!
Steve, I got some sleeping pills.
No, not... It's Chad, okay?
It's Chad.
Whoa.
Whoa, hey, hey.
Get this thing out of me.
Dear Mimi,
I know what I'm about to do
will probably cost me my life, but I don't care.
To see you in pain is worse than death itself.
I love you and want you to live on...
not just for me, but for the sake of mankind.
I will love you forever.
Steve.
I love you.
It's the alcohol.
They don't like the alcohol.
They don't like the alcohol, baby.
They were all drunk when it hit.
I had the champagne the night that the comet hit.
The... They don't like the alcohol in the blood.
Let's get you out of here.
Take these.
Antibiotics.
Wait a minute.
We have to go to Chad's ranch,
get it secure, plant some corn, apple trees,
whatever else he has in that truck.
And we need to get a ring on your finger...
ASAP.
What are you saying?
Will you marry me?
Yes, I will.
To the happy couple.
Here, drink this.
It's okay.
Yeah, I know. It's bad.
Okay, get that one. Shoot that one.
Okay, wait. Here, right?
Shit.
Come on, let's go.
Hey, come on.
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